Significance.

I have been using that world a lot lately.  I say that this or that is significant.  I told a friend that the new restaurant I went to had a very significant side salad.  I talked about a container of body cream being significant.  I told someone else that my new mascara was significant.  I have talked to my husband about the significance of a card he received in the mail.  I could go on here, because it is truly becoming a word I cue up and use constantly anymore.   I am not even sure if I use the word correctly.  It just sounds very good, and brings “significance” to a conversion.  At least I am telling myself that.  We all want to sound interesting, right?

This made me think about the word itself.   My Mother in Law passed away a few months ago.  On the heels of losing my mother, these two very significant people (there it is again) left us.  I never felt like I had a Mother in Law that was typical.  She was younger than I am at this very moment when I first met her.  She was beautiful.  Smart.  Strong.  Tenacious, and always giving advice that was welcomed.  The day she died, I walked outside of the hospital and noticed birds singing, people walking and talking, the sun was out; life continued.  It always does.  We get moments of significance, in the ever changing landscape that is our life, and those moments need to be savored.  Held.  Then spoke of often, as we continue on.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Which brings me to why I think I am using this world a lot.  In the last year I am learning how every thing we go through has significance.  A very small thing like noticing the song of a sparrow in a tree, all the way to a conversation at just the right time, to the people that enter and leave our lives, all have significance and importance to how we grow and change and become.  Nothing we go through or do in any given day is wasted. It all matters.  The traffic we got caught in, the wrong number we answered, the “thanks” to the clerk, the nod to the stranger, or the hug from a friend.

It was something my Mother in Laws life, and death taught me.  To notice the significance in a very simple things. To breath in experience, even if I think it’s nothing.   I am going to keep on using this word.  There was significance in noticing that I was saying that word a lot.  (see?) 

♥

Sometimes there is a balance to things. An order. Other times there is not.

We celebrated the “baby” of the family turning 22 with a “cook-out.”  I think the official term for that is “BBQ.” However, when living in the Ohio Valley, cooking out is a thing that weather controls. Anytime you can “cook out” it’s a celebration in and of itself!  We had it at my oldest daughter’s home. She did everything. Pasta Salad, dips, bread, meatballs, and yes!!!! Hotdogs, hamburgers, and chicken.

I can’t remember the last time I ate a hotdog from a grill, at a cook-out. We’ve been trying to be more healthy around here. We don’t get it right all the time, but those hotdogs looked tremendous. Hotdogs are the more easy simple things of this life. Slap some mustard, ketchup, and onion on that guy, and you have treat that calls to memory much about Summer and life and joy. So, I ate the hotdog last night. That easy simple thing. Balance. 😂😁💁

I went to Walmart, only to buy wrapping paper and a few other Walmart grabs. While walking by the clothes section, the clearance rack sang a song to me, called “Terra Sky”

This particular line of clothes they have is so easy and simple, and quite affordable! 

The great big yellow smile sign said $3.

These cute, off shoulder or on, “generous” fit blouses were $3!!

What?  Of course I bought a few! Three bucks here, and I have a few blouses that will easily transition into Fall with some boots and a jacket. So comfortable, and can be dressy, or casual with a change in shoes.🙌

Democracy brand boyfriend  jeans, some simple Jewerly accessories from Plunder, knock off Converse style shoes, from Roebuck & Co., and the easy simple look was completely affordable and comfortable.👍

There are gems hanging on a clearance rack. Always let it sing to you.👋

Makeup should be easy too. Some of the things I can’t do without are Cody Airspun loose face powder, of course Lipsense!  Almay Smart Shade face moisturizer, in “Straight up Medium” is a new drugstore find for me. I really like it, and around $8, it fits the budget nicely.

I think I’m going to opt for a salad today.  Offsetting the hotdog.✌

Balance.

Easy.

Simple.💞💋✌

Stuff to click:

Pinterest

Facebook

Almay Smart Shade on Amazon

Cody Airspun Loose Powder on Amazon

Plunder Jewelry

Democracy Brand Clothing

I remember sitting on the couch with my Mom about a year ago, almost to the day.  We were talking about the upcoming wedding of my oldest daughter, Rachael.  The conversation turned to what I was going to wear, and then what she was going to wear. She had a blouse she wanted to wear. We walked back into her bedroom. She took the blouse out of the closet and held it up across her chest to show me how it looked, as she looked in the mirror.  She was approaching 89. I remember thinking, as she looked at herself in the mirror, about a time growing up I watched her spraying her hair and putting earrings on.  My Mom had all kinds of jewelry. She had nice clothes. Hair day was Friday, mall shopping was Wednesday. When I was really young, we shopped in Wheeling WV. She would look at clothes. Buy things, I still see her in my mind holding things up to herself, and looking in a mirror, to see how it looked.

I still can smell the hairspray swirling all around the room. I still see her getting ready. That day after I left her apartment, I sat in the car a while. I thought about her, her blouse, how she held it up to see how it looked. How she smiled thinking about the wedding. I thought about how we are as women. How at almost 89, she was holding up a blouse to see how it looked, and asking how it looked.

Several months before she died, she gave me a box of odds and ends jewelry.  I barely looked at it at the time. I put the box in the closet. Couple days after the funeral, I was looking for something, and there was that box.

I remembered. The hairspray swirling all around the room. Her powder compact. Her earrings. Her life. Loss is something so difficult to place into words. Sometimes it’s a deep hole. Sometimes it’s a silent tear. Sometimes it’s a smile. It’s lonely. It’s longing for a better day somewhere in your memory.

I know that I wouldn’t mind sitting on the floor in her bedroom again, even as the hairspray swirls all around.

💞

I was having eggs this morning. I never get “once over easy” quite right. That’s a gifted chef that can do that, or a really good pan.

Sitting there, a memory popped up in my mind. Every summer growing up my parents sent me on little trips to stay with my Aunt’s and Uncle’s.  Looking back, I’m pretty sure they were wanting to get rid of me. 💁 I mean a kid in the 70’s, no phone, no TV beyond 13 channels, one of which was the time, and who was kind of exhausting, needed summer trips out of Mom’s hair now and then. My Uncle Sonny made “corn fried eggs.” I can still taste that cornmeal. Those eggs were perfect. Anytime my Mom made them, she talked about her home town, eggs, corn, and the house she grew up in.

Uncle Sonny would definitely joke around when he served them to you. Most often spilling something on your hand acting like it was accidental.

They have all left us now. Leaving voids on this Earth, and cherished memories of a much more simple time.  Gifted us with a deep appreciation of the easy simple things of this beautiful life.

Corn fried eggs.  I think I’ll spill some on my hand, accidentally.

✌

Why is it when I wear a jean jacket, I feel a little fierce?  I had a jean jacket in high school that I put all these buttons on of Rock Bands.  I had THE BEST REO Speedwagon buttons. I had a few U2 as well.  The Joshua Tree Album cover was one I remember the most.  Why oh why did I ever lose those buttons??  I hope they found perhaps a good home.  I will stick to that thought.

Stepping into being a little fierce or bold was indeed this haircut.  Little swipe of red for edge.  I think yes, be bold.  Yesterday I felt extremely self-conscious with this new cut. Not so much today!  What a difference when you just decide, “hey.  I think I’ll be fierce today.”  Our state of mind may just be everything, huh?

My youngest daughter is my stylist.   She told me it was “Bad Ass.”  I’ll take her word for it.  When you hit 51 sometimes, the thought of “bad ass” is literally your ass hurting from any real movement beyond the normal day to day.

I like this versatility of this simple black dress. Small ruffle line around the neckline and bottom, this can go from a wedding to a workday depending on the shoe.  Lucky Brand black wedge sandals are not too high, and easy to wear.

Summer is clipping right along now, I see back to school stuff in the stores already. I think we rush things a lot.  I am always wishing for Friday. So I suppose I do that too.  Let’s just savor the summer breeze for a while though.

Peace.

✌

Makeup:  Senegence:

• Color Correcting Tinted Moisturizer in Medium
• Make Sense Pearlizer Foundation
• Black Lashsense
• Candlelight, Garnet, and Mocha Java Shadowsense
• First Love Lipsense with Rose Gloss

Other:

• Tan Luxe: The Gloss, Tan Drops THE BODY and THE FACE, in Medium to Tan
• Cody Airspun Loose Power in Illuminating
• Luck Brand Wedge Sandal, Jean Jacket by The Limited, Jewerly is Premier Designs, Black Dress by Adrianna Papell

                                                                                      I was looking over this blog.  2013 last post, 2018 now.  WHAT??

2013 was what I like to call the “Year of Cath.”  I quit my job of 13 years with the idea that I would indeed return to the work force after a year.

That was pretty much what I did. I return now to this blog and things are WILDY different!  I will not bore you with 5 years of what I have been doing.

Let’s do the Readers Digest version:

I found myself in the office of a Temp Agency. I had worked at the same job for 13 years.  Dude told me I had no real skill.  He was going to have a hard time placing me.  Asked me why I did not finish my degree, why I did not try to move up, on, anything.  He kept shaking his head.  Well like, I was raising kids?  Being a mom, wife, homemaker, and anything in-between?  I am still not sure why women have to explain that.   We do though.  It is very infuriating.  Anyway, he did place me in a Corporate Office for a local grocery chain, doing all things clerical.  I could do an entire blog post and possible novel just about my experiences there. Long story/feature film short, I worked there for a few years, and then transferred into a position with the promotions department of this chain.  Oh my land.  Not FOR ME.  AT ALL.  I thought it was though.  I ended up being the sample girl.  The “hey would you like to try these cheese balls?” girl. I thought I would be out promoting the store, advertising the store, maybe even doing small demos in the store.  Nope, “hey would you like some of this sushi?” girl.  I worked with a few tremendous people though!  As an example of how bad this was, one of my assignments was to drive to a store in the chain that was in a small college town about an hour – 30 minutes from my house.  On college move in day, and have a corn hole tournament in the parking lot.  Showing the college age kids how it’s done I guess?   They could NOT have sent a more wrong person.  I am a Mom of kids that age, first of all. Second, I truly looked the part of the mom carrying in the bedding for the dorm.  Third, I wanted to tell some of them they really did not need that case of beer, just because Mom and Dad just left!  It was a disaster, and my boss at the time knew it.

Shortly thereafter, I received a job offer to go back and do all things clerical, and be the administrative assistant at a local Chamber of Commerce. Thank GOD. I did not desire to ask one more human if they wanted to try the smoked turkey jerky.  I love what I do now.  Sometimes it is a tad stressful, but over the last couple of years I am learning, I clock out at 5.  This is my job, not my life.  Do the very best I can while I am in the 9-5, and then leave it there.  I do not actually do that very well every day, but I sure am learning.

So much has happened to me personally during the last 5 years too.  I think I wont get into all that.  As inspiration strikes, I will use that energy to write about it all.

I am over 50 now.  OMG, when you type that out it gets ya right in the –wasn’t I just 30?- heart.  I think that women over 50 are FABULOUS!  I am just 51.  We grew up in the 70’s.  We went to High school in the early 80’s.  We had the best hair, music, and we were on the very edge of technology.  They put computers in my High school the year after I graduated. The first CD I ever listened to was Purple Rain.  We had Prince, so I think we win right there! Women over 50 do not have to be wearing Alfred Dunner sets; we do not have to have Mom hair, mom jeans, or mom make up!  We do however; need to take care of our skin.  We need to dress with our personality, not exactly our age.  What exactly IS “age appropriate?”  I know I am not a fan of that term at all anyway.  Most of us have raised kids, husbands, and friends.  We have a few grays, wrinkles, and curves.  All of that makes us beautiful, perceptive, fabulous women.

Let’s GO!!!

peace👐

There seems to be a reoccurring theme in my life lately. Looking back. Looking over my past. Wondering what If anything I would change if I could, to result differently now. I was channel surfing the other night, in lieu of sleep, which is yet another reoccurring theme, not sleeping. Anyway, was channel surfing. Came across one of my favorite movies. “ Back to the Future.” Michael J. Fox. This movie lives in repeating loops all across the too many channels of nothingness our cable provider, cough, provides. In case you were under a rock, this movie is about Michael’s character returning to the past, in a time machine. A Delorean to be exact, Time Machine. In this car, you can turn to the year in which you would like to go, sorta like a radio channel, rev ‘er up, and off you go. Back…to the Future? The kicker, or Key, is that he gets to return there, as he is. Knowing everything that has happened to get to the present. He can change the outcomes, fix the errors, dial up the present and return to a better…future?
Of course in the movie, it happens just like that. Everything is fixed, from the past and bright is the present, because past mishaps and mistakes are fixed. The wrong turns are righted.

In many convos with friends over the years, and usually over drinks. We have discussed this kind of thing. I have always maintained that I would not want to actually change anything..or would I? I would most certainly like to go back, but I gotta know what I know now. I want almost the same outcome, just BETTER..easier..or would I?

Maybe I would have said this, or done that. Perhaps I would not have been that wanna be Rebel, and never smoked that first cig in the alley at lunch in high school. Maybe I would have asked that guy for a dance, or maybe turned down that guy that asked me to dance, and danced with the other one. Maybe I would have been better to my Parents, or maybe not.

It would be neat to go back and remember how you felt when the phone rang, and it was “him.” Or that day that you and your friends were really young, and sitting by the lake with beer poured into Pepsi cans, so no one would know, was the best day ever.

Maybe I would have, maybe I would not have. I just don’t know, and there is not a Dolorean anywhere close by. Life is funny. Mistakes are gonna be made, fun is gonna be had. Not everyone is gonna be happy everyday, all the time. You can never make every single right choice. I would like to meet the person who has, by the way. That could be another movie, that when sleep evades, I will stumble upon..

I have a sign hanging in my house. “ Live Well, Laugh often, Love Much.” If I can laugh at my wrong turns, or at least chuckle at the mistakes, Live in the light of, at least the knowledge, that I can do a lot about the here and now, but not so much about the past. Living Well..is a piece of cake.

Peace!

To begin..English? Punctuation? Never my strong points. I feel I write , how I speak. So just overlook the occasional grammatical errors.

I am 46 years OLD. Some days it just feels good to admit that. After I quit my boring-please help me-never ending cycle of doom-cubicle full time- job, I decided to make some self improvements. I really knew I could stand to drop some LBS..so I began to work out. At least that is what I called it. According to some of my face book friends, and what I see in the News Feed over there, it was hardly “working out.” but I was moving. I did some kick boxing, with folks that I am telling you, are entirely too perky, and happy, and are trying to kill anyone who watches those DVD’s. Seriously. Resident Evil. Had a few dates with Jillian Michaels. She is Satan. Do not tell me she isn’t. the weather sorta broke here in Ohio. Again, that is up for debate, but it was over 30 degrees, so as far as this Ohioan is concerned, that’s breaking weather, so I started walking. Outside. Little by little I started walking further. Before too long, I was walking 5 miles a day..not all 7 in the week, but at least 5 out of those 7. Added a few hills here and there..and left 25 pounds somewhere between my house and the local dairy Queen, which opened for the season, only to make me a little more bitter as I walk by.

I like the feeling, of walking…but I am not perky little, pony tail wearin’, happy go lucky, Ipod with a Velcro holder, young thing, that pass me every morning, RUNNING. I am not running anywhere. I do not have a fancy little Ipod holder. One day, I actually thought I could fashion my music with a rubber band around my wrist, because I do not have all the little work out gear I see all about town. Some days I am kicking my own behind out the door, because..I mean, can I just sit here please? But no, 25 lb ago girl, says get the H outside.

People see me around town, and feel the need to comment. Things like, “oh, I see you STROLLING around town. How nice.”

These are the people I have dreams about pushing into traffic. I am NOT strolling, and it is NOT NICE. These 46 year old legs kinda hurt..I just had to cuss my way out the door, I am sweating, and briskly climbing up this small hill. Join my you CAR DRIVER..k?

Then there are the people who speak of “clean eating.” What is this? My food that I eat is clean. The glass that I place some wine in, is clean anyway. I am going to eat for crying out loud. Most likely really bad stuff. I applaud all those before and after pics I see of gorgeous young ladies, that threw out the, sugar? Flour? And look FAB..but I am 46, and I really like, cake. I am going to well…have my cake, and eat it too, and walk. Move. Strap my music to my arm with a string or something, and walk.

I am proud of what I have done here. I remember walking by this hill in town everyday, one day, I decided to turn, and walk up that hill. When I got to the top, I turned around, and smiled. The kind of smile that I felt from somewhere very deep inside of me. I did it. All alone. All by myself. No one was there..just me and my 25 lbs ago self. It was fantastic. Later that evening I had a glass, a clean glass of wine, to celebrate that.

It isn’t 100 lbs. It isn’t fancy. It’s 46. And it is not too shabby. Not too shabby at all.

PEACE!!

“Life ain’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride.”

My life has a Soundtrack. Seriously, I always hear background music like a really sappy B Movie from the 80’s. Sometimes a symphony, sometimes a rocked out metal band, other times dance pop. But there is definitely background music to my life.

I have been a non member of the outside working world now for about three months. When I am out in the general public, I find my tolerance for crap is becoming non existent. It’s very noisy out in the world. People are always in some kind of rush. People all over seem to have an agenda that is being saw to. Rushing through the check out line, or the red light. Wishing the line at the post office would move quicker, or the folks at the DMV would skip a number and call theirs. I have noticed that most people have a distant look on the face, because they are mentally on the next task, on the agenda, before the one they are on is complete. Now, that I am truly not in this rush all the time, I hear music. People don’t, in general, hear it.

I have taken to walking every day..OUTSIDE..and I hear birds, see flowers, look at the sky. Everything all around is musical. I see faces, smiles, and frowns. I hear cars flying by me, some distant horns blowing, and I hear the breeze. It’s all set to song in my head.
Some of my friends have suggested I am bored. Need a hobby, need SOMETHING. Mainly I feel this is suggested because I am not in a hurry anymore. Because I notice a beautiful budding tree, or a sunny day, and make mention of it., suggests to them I am bored. I know for certain this “break” will need to end. In this life it really isn’t realistic to not have an income. Unless, of course, I don’t mind “ Living on a Prayer” in perfect Bon Jovi fashion.

I am looking at his moment in my life as a commercial break between the songs on my favorite radio station. I am on commercial break. Before the Music comes back on.

Meantime, I’ll wait and listen for the Music..
The soundtrack. The “B” side of the record. That is always where the best song is anyway.

PEACE

I live in the same town I grew up in. Little town along the Ohio River. I live about three blocks away from the house I grew up in.  We have a few Police Officers. I grew up with the Mayor. Had a crush all through my tween years on the now, Chief of Police. My kids go to the same school that I graduated from. On any given Fall Friday, I can see a lot of the people I grew up with , gather for the football games. When I go to the local store, there are so many folks to stop and chat with, sometimes I forget what I came there for.  The local beauty shops are the news centers for all things.  CNN has nothing on the people at our pharmacy. On all Patriotic holidays, the American Flag flies from one end of town to the other. On Football Fridays, the Team Flag flies from one end of town to the other. Every time I hear the Fight song/Alma mater, Itear up. I basically have the exact same friends I had when I was young. “Lifer’s” I call them. Of course, I have been blessed to add some real, cherished people through out   my life thus far.  But those people, that hail from here, well..there is nothing like them. We gather at the same churches Sunday to Sunday. Weddings, baptisms, Funerals. Speaking of being News Central, ask a Church Lady. She’s a Journalist. No Doubt.  The people that I grew up around, that have left, when they return for a event, game, or reunion..it’s like they never left anyway. We can pick up like we just had coffee the day before. It’s what is inside a person. A shared bond, that is hard to explain, it’s a small town kinda thing I suppose.

We have issues here. Scandals, fights, grass in yards to tall, litter at the Basketball Courts, dogs barking, music too loud, local bars have “good stories” after midnight, Stop sign running, people going 35 in a 25, ya know, big time crime. I’ve been mad at a teacher or two, maybe three.

I had big plans to leave this one horse town when I was a teenager. I was gonna be somebody!  I hear a lot of kids say this. I smile. I never left. But the funny thing, it only took 20+ years to  understand, I am somebody. I am, well..me. The same sidewalks I ran on when I was in Grade school, I walk on as an adult, a beaten path. When the winds of change blow all around me, I walk on those same sidewalks, and know that as much as things change, is as much as they stay exactly the same.

I live in a small Ohio River Town. I am going to go pick up some stuff at  the store. I know I will run into my 11^th grade History Teacher along the way..on the same sidewalk…on the same beaten path of this life.

Peace!!