Vacation. Packing. Oh what on earth to I take? Trying to cover every possible clothing scenario. What if I need that one blouse? Oh and that one eyeshadow? Those earrings.  I never wear them, but what if I really need them there?  Socks? Will I need a lot of socks? The struggle for this “You never know ” kinda personality is real.

I could write an entire novel of the neverending conversation of if TSA will approve my lipstick, or if I need to carry on my shampoo, or which is which? How many ounces are actually in a pound? Do I have to check my purse? What if my shoes don’t pass?  Very odd things go through my mind. I’m not looking for an international incident because my hair gel is a few ounces off of the mark, and I should have checked that.

We went to Jamaica.  It would be, and absolutely is, impossible to translate properly exactly how beautiful it is there. Upload, upload, upload, picture after picture just trying to express the beauty.  I was accused of “not being in the moment ” by some Facebook commenter,  because my phone was in my hand,  but the truth of that was I indeed was in the moment. The majestic sea, the soft breeze, the sound of the waves, the smell of the air, the smiles of the people around me, laughter, music somewhere always playing, conversations,  too much rum punch,  or possibly not enough. The warmth of the sun hitting my face.  A straw inside of a coconut,  and drinking the water inside!

I spent a lot of time just looking at the beach line. Staring really.  Where I was sitting one day, I looked beyond the white caps. You couldn’t see the ending. I watched a bird fly out. To the deepest blue color. A boat was going past, the music playing somewhere behind me. My husband said he was watching me. Watching me watch actually.  He said, “you love this, don’t you?”  Of course, yes. But I added that I was  “feeling this.”

I think that you can look at something all you want. Feeling it, with your eyes, it yet another whole thing.

I walked along the little beach line one day and felt a lot of things.  As the waves went out, I decided with them, a few things were going to go out of me too, at least try not to allow things in, and out, and back again.  Maybe I don’t need to become upset by every little thing that happens around me. Perhaps I save the upset for what matters. To that end, not apologizing for being hurt. That’s a big thing.  We feel hurt by an action of another,  and somehow end up apologizing for that?  Odd, but we do it.

Maybe, quit trying to be a “better person,” and just be the person you are.  Take a few deep breaths, before you speak.  But, speak. Your truth doesn’t have to be anothers. Which explains why it’s yours.  Understand other people. Understanding doesn’t always mean agreement. Disagreement doesn’t always mean a fight.  Bring the right energy into the things you live and breathe.  Locate some sort of balance.

I forgot a few things there.  I suppose I brought back the important things.

I took the earrings out of my suitcase, put them back in my jewelry box, because I might need them next trip.

“You forgot something. ”

Yes. I did.

✌

Ah. The after Christmas decorating dilemma. I call it that, because everything seems so bare,  dark,  and almost Wintery sad when you pack away the tree. It seems like so much more of a chore when you go to put it all away,  rather than the excitement felt when unpacking it all to put up.

Small touches of pine and berries, snowmen, and some little trees are still a Winter decor “ok”, and using things you have are easy on the budget, and can add those cozy touches that come with Winter and the need to feel warm.

Turned around a Christmas themed pillow and this wonderful moose check was on the flip side. Added pine and red berries and it made a cozy feeling area with the added battery candle.  Some pine around a lamp base adds just a little something-something.

Old sled with a snow dusted wreath, skates, cut greenery from bushes outside, and your porch can still be winter cozy.  Lanterns bring a warm feeling too when lit at night.

Taking the lights off, I decided to keep this tree in a corner, with the burlap bag and galvanized bucket.  Fills the corner, and still feels Winter bright.

Little touches, things you have, and left over Christmas stuff can keep things from feeling dark, and create a warmth as we all await Spring.  Make your space yours. Home is wherever you are.

Santa may be on a beach somewhere and packed away.🎅

We’ll await the promise of Spring.🏡

Happy New Year!!

New Years Eve, 2018.

The normal I’m gonna do…and blah blah..” begins.  Gyms get full with the resolute.  The produce section gets a lot more traffic at the local grocery store.  The rush and wonder of the holiday season fades, and Winter sets in.

I guess I join in on some of that year after year.

I think I’ll be more healthy.  Perhaps lose a few or a lot of these extra pounds that came in.  They came invited though. I mean, I participated in the party.  Maybe I’ll do more of the things. Whatever that means or whatever those things are.

In truth, 2018 taught me some stuff.  If you are being taught, then it’s definitely up to you if you learn.

Losing people.  In that were lessons. In their lives were gifts.  In the memories are learned lessons I intend to carry over into tomorrow. All of us end. We end exactly the same. Our lives here, now, at this moment,  is where you actually become.  Not everyone in your life is going to understand you. Not everyone stays.

We lose people, and we gain. The key I think, in all of it, is to be intentional.

If I’m resolved to anything as day 1, of 365 is nearing, it is to be more intentional.

Cultivating and intentionally investing into the relationships around me that matter.  Sometimes you just have to be completely involved in your own life enough to desire to share it. To pause and be in it with things and people that shape who you are.

Be more intentional about listening. Making time to be in that moment,  rather than moving though it.

If you think about it there is actually time. There is time for that lunch. That call. That text, that drink, that dinner, that trip, that letter,  that new top, those new shoes, that laugh, that cry, that job change, that word,  that apology, that moment, and that smile.

There is time to intentionally Love.

With everything,  there is hurt. Pain sometimes. Part of international love is pushing through that, in the end, or even at the end of the day, it matters exactly where you put your intent.

So yes, I’m doing that ” blah blah, New Year” thing too.

Maybe I’ll see you at the gym.

Intentionally.

✌

Ever stop and think how quick time passes?

Maybe not the clock on the wall, but “life” time. Those 365 days that add up to a year in our lives. We pack a lot into those 365 days.  As I get closer to the end of that last 365 batch, and get ready for a fresh new batch of 365, I think about how it seems you blink, and that time passes.

Decorating for Christmas around the house, brought to mind so many memories and emotions. This year almost everything has new meaning to me. I think about last year at this time, doing the same things, and how much has changed since then.  How quickly it did change.

I was talking with a friend,  and asked the question,  ” why do we do all this?”  Meaning all the preparations and decorating.  She said, ” we do it because it makes us happy in the moment,  and reminds us of a time when we were young, and things were simple.”  I’m honestly not sure that’s a direct quote, but close enough to the sentiment, and absolutely true.  I thought about that conversation as I put something here or there. It did make me happy inside, and reflective of simple things, and easier moments.

I remember the feeling of sitting on the steps as a kid, looking at the presents under the tree. The wonder of it all.  As the batches of the 365 come and go, I remember the faces of my kids waiting on steps to see what Santa brought.  The Christmas plays at church. How my Dad shook his keys to make them sound like sleigh bells on Santa’s sleigh, and we acted like Santa was on the phone with our kids. Putting toys together at 2am, and understanding why my parents were so tired on Christmas morning.

As the new batch of 365 days gets closer, more moments,  more experience,  more Joy’s, more ups, more downs are sure to be in that batch.

The wonder of it all, in this thing we call life, sometimes we wish we could stop time, and hold it where we want. We can’t.  That’s the thing about time. It moves, and we move with it.  The blessing is, if we learn to cherish time with all it gives us, it might seem to slow just enough for us to catch up.

Peace and joy to you, and your new batch of 365.

💕

Significance.

I have been using that world a lot lately.  I say that this or that is significant.  I told a friend that the new restaurant I went to had a very significant side salad.  I talked about a container of body cream being significant.  I told someone else that my new mascara was significant.  I have talked to my husband about the significance of a card he received in the mail.  I could go on here, because it is truly becoming a word I cue up and use constantly anymore.   I am not even sure if I use the word correctly.  It just sounds very good, and brings “significance” to a conversion.  At least I am telling myself that.  We all want to sound interesting, right?

This made me think about the word itself.   My Mother in Law passed away a few months ago.  On the heels of losing my mother, these two very significant people (there it is again) left us.  I never felt like I had a Mother in Law that was typical.  She was younger than I am at this very moment when I first met her.  She was beautiful.  Smart.  Strong.  Tenacious, and always giving advice that was welcomed.  The day she died, I walked outside of the hospital and noticed birds singing, people walking and talking, the sun was out; life continued.  It always does.  We get moments of significance, in the ever changing landscape that is our life, and those moments need to be savored.  Held.  Then spoke of often, as we continue on.

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Which brings me to why I think I am using this world a lot.  In the last year I am learning how every thing we go through has significance.  A very small thing like noticing the song of a sparrow in a tree, all the way to a conversation at just the right time, to the people that enter and leave our lives, all have significance and importance to how we grow and change and become.  Nothing we go through or do in any given day is wasted. It all matters.  The traffic we got caught in, the wrong number we answered, the “thanks” to the clerk, the nod to the stranger, or the hug from a friend.

It was something my Mother in Laws life, and death taught me.  To notice the significance in a very simple things. To breath in experience, even if I think it’s nothing.   I am going to keep on using this word.  There was significance in noticing that I was saying that word a lot.  (see?) 

♥

Sometimes there is a balance to things. An order. Other times there is not.

We celebrated the “baby” of the family turning 22 with a “cook-out.”  I think the official term for that is “BBQ.” However, when living in the Ohio Valley, cooking out is a thing that weather controls. Anytime you can “cook out” it’s a celebration in and of itself!  We had it at my oldest daughter’s home. She did everything. Pasta Salad, dips, bread, meatballs, and yes!!!! Hotdogs, hamburgers, and chicken.

I can’t remember the last time I ate a hotdog from a grill, at a cook-out. We’ve been trying to be more healthy around here. We don’t get it right all the time, but those hotdogs looked tremendous. Hotdogs are the more easy simple things of this life. Slap some mustard, ketchup, and onion on that guy, and you have treat that calls to memory much about Summer and life and joy. So, I ate the hotdog last night. That easy simple thing. Balance. 😂😁💁

I went to Walmart, only to buy wrapping paper and a few other Walmart grabs. While walking by the clothes section, the clearance rack sang a song to me, called “Terra Sky”

This particular line of clothes they have is so easy and simple, and quite affordable! 

The great big yellow smile sign said $3.

These cute, off shoulder or on, “generous” fit blouses were $3!!

What?  Of course I bought a few! Three bucks here, and I have a few blouses that will easily transition into Fall with some boots and a jacket. So comfortable, and can be dressy, or casual with a change in shoes.🙌

Democracy brand boyfriend  jeans, some simple Jewerly accessories from Plunder, knock off Converse style shoes, from Roebuck & Co., and the easy simple look was completely affordable and comfortable.👍

There are gems hanging on a clearance rack. Always let it sing to you.👋

Makeup should be easy too. Some of the things I can’t do without are Cody Airspun loose face powder, of course Lipsense!  Almay Smart Shade face moisturizer, in “Straight up Medium” is a new drugstore find for me. I really like it, and around $8, it fits the budget nicely.

I think I’m going to opt for a salad today.  Offsetting the hotdog.✌

Balance.

Easy.

Simple.💞💋✌

Stuff to click:

Pinterest

Facebook

Almay Smart Shade on Amazon

Cody Airspun Loose Powder on Amazon

Plunder Jewelry

Democracy Brand Clothing

I remember sitting on the couch with my Mom about a year ago, almost to the day.  We were talking about the upcoming wedding of my oldest daughter, Rachael.  The conversation turned to what I was going to wear, and then what she was going to wear. She had a blouse she wanted to wear. We walked back into her bedroom. She took the blouse out of the closet and held it up across her chest to show me how it looked, as she looked in the mirror.  She was approaching 89. I remember thinking, as she looked at herself in the mirror, about a time growing up I watched her spraying her hair and putting earrings on.  My Mom had all kinds of jewelry. She had nice clothes. Hair day was Friday, mall shopping was Wednesday. When I was really young, we shopped in Wheeling WV. She would look at clothes. Buy things, I still see her in my mind holding things up to herself, and looking in a mirror, to see how it looked.

I still can smell the hairspray swirling all around the room. I still see her getting ready. That day after I left her apartment, I sat in the car a while. I thought about her, her blouse, how she held it up to see how it looked. How she smiled thinking about the wedding. I thought about how we are as women. How at almost 89, she was holding up a blouse to see how it looked, and asking how it looked.

Several months before she died, she gave me a box of odds and ends jewelry.  I barely looked at it at the time. I put the box in the closet. Couple days after the funeral, I was looking for something, and there was that box.

I remembered. The hairspray swirling all around the room. Her powder compact. Her earrings. Her life. Loss is something so difficult to place into words. Sometimes it’s a deep hole. Sometimes it’s a silent tear. Sometimes it’s a smile. It’s lonely. It’s longing for a better day somewhere in your memory.

I know that I wouldn’t mind sitting on the floor in her bedroom again, even as the hairspray swirls all around.

💞

I was having eggs this morning. I never get “once over easy” quite right. That’s a gifted chef that can do that, or a really good pan.

Sitting there, a memory popped up in my mind. Every summer growing up my parents sent me on little trips to stay with my Aunt’s and Uncle’s.  Looking back, I’m pretty sure they were wanting to get rid of me. 💁 I mean a kid in the 70’s, no phone, no TV beyond 13 channels, one of which was the time, and who was kind of exhausting, needed summer trips out of Mom’s hair now and then. My Uncle Sonny made “corn fried eggs.” I can still taste that cornmeal. Those eggs were perfect. Anytime my Mom made them, she talked about her home town, eggs, corn, and the house she grew up in.

Uncle Sonny would definitely joke around when he served them to you. Most often spilling something on your hand acting like it was accidental.

They have all left us now. Leaving voids on this Earth, and cherished memories of a much more simple time.  Gifted us with a deep appreciation of the easy simple things of this beautiful life.

Corn fried eggs.  I think I’ll spill some on my hand, accidentally.

✌

Why is it when I wear a jean jacket, I feel a little fierce?  I had a jean jacket in high school that I put all these buttons on of Rock Bands.  I had THE BEST REO Speedwagon buttons. I had a few U2 as well.  The Joshua Tree Album cover was one I remember the most.  Why oh why did I ever lose those buttons??  I hope they found perhaps a good home.  I will stick to that thought.

Stepping into being a little fierce or bold was indeed this haircut.  Little swipe of red for edge.  I think yes, be bold.  Yesterday I felt extremely self-conscious with this new cut. Not so much today!  What a difference when you just decide, “hey.  I think I’ll be fierce today.”  Our state of mind may just be everything, huh?

My youngest daughter is my stylist.   She told me it was “Bad Ass.”  I’ll take her word for it.  When you hit 51 sometimes, the thought of “bad ass” is literally your ass hurting from any real movement beyond the normal day to day.

I like this versatility of this simple black dress. Small ruffle line around the neckline and bottom, this can go from a wedding to a workday depending on the shoe.  Lucky Brand black wedge sandals are not too high, and easy to wear.

Summer is clipping right along now, I see back to school stuff in the stores already. I think we rush things a lot.  I am always wishing for Friday. So I suppose I do that too.  Let’s just savor the summer breeze for a while though.

Peace.

✌

Makeup:  Senegence:

• Color Correcting Tinted Moisturizer in Medium
• Make Sense Pearlizer Foundation
• Black Lashsense
• Candlelight, Garnet, and Mocha Java Shadowsense
• First Love Lipsense with Rose Gloss

Other:

• Tan Luxe: The Gloss, Tan Drops THE BODY and THE FACE, in Medium to Tan
• Cody Airspun Loose Power in Illuminating
• Luck Brand Wedge Sandal, Jean Jacket by The Limited, Jewerly is Premier Designs, Black Dress by Adrianna Papell

                                                                                      I was looking over this blog.  2013 last post, 2018 now.  WHAT??

2013 was what I like to call the “Year of Cath.”  I quit my job of 13 years with the idea that I would indeed return to the work force after a year.

That was pretty much what I did. I return now to this blog and things are WILDY different!  I will not bore you with 5 years of what I have been doing.

Let’s do the Readers Digest version:

I found myself in the office of a Temp Agency. I had worked at the same job for 13 years.  Dude told me I had no real skill.  He was going to have a hard time placing me.  Asked me why I did not finish my degree, why I did not try to move up, on, anything.  He kept shaking his head.  Well like, I was raising kids?  Being a mom, wife, homemaker, and anything in-between?  I am still not sure why women have to explain that.   We do though.  It is very infuriating.  Anyway, he did place me in a Corporate Office for a local grocery chain, doing all things clerical.  I could do an entire blog post and possible novel just about my experiences there. Long story/feature film short, I worked there for a few years, and then transferred into a position with the promotions department of this chain.  Oh my land.  Not FOR ME.  AT ALL.  I thought it was though.  I ended up being the sample girl.  The “hey would you like to try these cheese balls?” girl. I thought I would be out promoting the store, advertising the store, maybe even doing small demos in the store.  Nope, “hey would you like some of this sushi?” girl.  I worked with a few tremendous people though!  As an example of how bad this was, one of my assignments was to drive to a store in the chain that was in a small college town about an hour – 30 minutes from my house.  On college move in day, and have a corn hole tournament in the parking lot.  Showing the college age kids how it’s done I guess?   They could NOT have sent a more wrong person.  I am a Mom of kids that age, first of all. Second, I truly looked the part of the mom carrying in the bedding for the dorm.  Third, I wanted to tell some of them they really did not need that case of beer, just because Mom and Dad just left!  It was a disaster, and my boss at the time knew it.

Shortly thereafter, I received a job offer to go back and do all things clerical, and be the administrative assistant at a local Chamber of Commerce. Thank GOD. I did not desire to ask one more human if they wanted to try the smoked turkey jerky.  I love what I do now.  Sometimes it is a tad stressful, but over the last couple of years I am learning, I clock out at 5.  This is my job, not my life.  Do the very best I can while I am in the 9-5, and then leave it there.  I do not actually do that very well every day, but I sure am learning.

So much has happened to me personally during the last 5 years too.  I think I wont get into all that.  As inspiration strikes, I will use that energy to write about it all.

I am over 50 now.  OMG, when you type that out it gets ya right in the –wasn’t I just 30?- heart.  I think that women over 50 are FABULOUS!  I am just 51.  We grew up in the 70’s.  We went to High school in the early 80’s.  We had the best hair, music, and we were on the very edge of technology.  They put computers in my High school the year after I graduated. The first CD I ever listened to was Purple Rain.  We had Prince, so I think we win right there! Women over 50 do not have to be wearing Alfred Dunner sets; we do not have to have Mom hair, mom jeans, or mom make up!  We do however; need to take care of our skin.  We need to dress with our personality, not exactly our age.  What exactly IS “age appropriate?”  I know I am not a fan of that term at all anyway.  Most of us have raised kids, husbands, and friends.  We have a few grays, wrinkles, and curves.  All of that makes us beautiful, perceptive, fabulous women.

Let’s GO!!!

peace👐