Choices. Decisions. I never like to stand on the cusp of making any choice or decision.

I am not an adventurous soul at all. Heck, I can not even decide what to have for lunch with any kind of stability. Every time I make the food choice, I am sorry. Why?

Take “Subway” for example. You have to stand there, and tell them everything you want on a “samich.”  What kind of bread? Toasted? Not toasted?  It’s more than I can handle.

The pressure is quite unbearable. Then they have the gall to ask if you want “to make this a meal?”  Wait. What? Is this not already a meal??  Ghastly. Just make it like I saw on the commercial. Easy. Don’t ask these deep questions of me.

I look back over choices in my life, decisions made, good, bad , ugly. The choice to marry, the choice to quit college. The choice to leave this or that job. What shirt to wear?  The choice to say, or not say what’s on my mind. The choice to argue, or walk away.  I can very easily wonder, if I made another type of choice, where would I be? 

I wouldn’t be “me.” I wouldn’t have my family. I would not have the three most beautiful choices I ever made. My kids.

It would be fine, really, if I could jump in the “Back to the Future” car, and simply tweak those choices. Right down to the shirt I chose to wear on July 16^th, 1983.  Tweak, but not change.

Our decisions make us. Who we are. Mistakes, and good things, ugly stuff, and beautiful stuff.  I stand, once again on the cusp of a major choice. I don’t like the feeling at all. But, on the other hand I LOVE the feeling. See?  Life, time, tears, laughter..

I’ll make the right or wrong choice, and be who I am.

In the meantime, I need to discover how to stand at Subway,  and not wax poetic when the question is posed, “What kind of cheese?”

PEACE!!!